Just a few pictures...

Delivery Day!

So, it was kind of daunting just waiting to go into labor.  I'd suddenly think to myself "I could go into labor at ANY moment..Maybe NOW....Maybe NOW...".  So yeah, I was driving myself crazy.

I had a feeling my doctor was going to induce me based on what he said at my previous appointment, when I didn't go into labor by my due date.  And all the worrying about when I was going to go into labor probably didn't help my blood pressure...On the 17th, it was the highest it had been.  So, that's when my doctor said, "How do you feel about having a baby tomorrow?"  Uh, sure!  Why not!

So, on Wednesday I knew the next day I would have a baby.  I spent the day doing some last minute laundry and cleaning and tried to rest.  I can honestly say I didn't sleep more then an hour that night.  I was still worried.  I was being induced...I was going to go into labor..FOR REAL!  And yeah, I obsess over things.  I think about things way too much.  I over analyze EVERYTHING.  I've always been that way.  I hate the unexpected.  I hate not knowing what's going to happen.  I hate feeling unprepared.

Thursday morning we grabbed our bags and headed to the hospital.  We got there at 8:30 AM with one of our Pastors from Church there to greet us.  We went up to labor and delivery and was relieved to see another familiar face!  One of the nurses goes to our Church and she had called me the night before to ask if I wanted her to be my nurse...I said "YES!"  It was great knowing I had someone I could trust and who was familiar and so incredibly kind.  She was a great comfort...She stayed the whole time.  It made the day that much more special. I'm slightly embarrassed because she saw the "real me"..The "ugly, raw, me".  The me that no one should ever see!

I got all checked in and they immediately hooked me up to machines to monitor baby's heartbeat and all my vitals.  I have AWFUL veins for trying to get blood or for trying to put in an IV.  So it took a couple nurses and a couple of pokes but they finally got it in.  I was getting pitocin a little after 9.  By about 10-10:30 I could feel the contractions...(When I first got there, and was first hooked up to the monitors Judy-my nurse noticed I was having a contraction and asked me if I could feel it and I couldn't..I thought maybe that was a good sign..Once the pitocin hit, I could definitely feel my contractions!!)  They were definitely getting stronger...They felt short in length but really close together!

By 1 PM I had had enough and asked for drugs..At first I was thinking about just getting some IV pain meds to help take the edge off...But after one really strong contraction, I decided an epidural was the way to go!  So around 2 PM the anesthesiologist came and hooked me up to this amazing drug!  I was nervous about it but it really wasn't that bad...It definitely felt weird but it was much better then feeling the contractions.  They had to put in a catheter since I couldn't walk or get up to use the bathroom. 

For about an hour, hour and a half I was feeling pretty good.  Zero pain, just a little pressure down below.  But that pressure started to get worse..More intense, more uncomfortable.  It felt like I had to pee and have a bowel movement..It was so uncomfortable!  Judy informed me this was a good sign...So she checked me and I was like 8 cm dilated.  A little while later I was 9+.  And by 4:30 PM I was pushing.

So for the most part I wasn't in pain..I was just INCREDIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE.  Feeling all that pressure was awful.  Totally awful.  My doctor said whoever did my epidural did a fabulous job...He took away the pain from my contractions but left sensation for me to know when to push.  And boy did I know.

Here I am pushing...And pushing..And pushing...And I'm suddenly realizing why they call it labor.  Up until that point I hadn't really had to do much.  Just wait out the contractions.  Now, the real work began.

I now hate the women who say "Oh I pushed 4 times and she just popped out!".  UGH.

Judy came up with a way that would make pushing a little "easier" and more effective.  She hooked up this bar thing to the bed for me to prop my feet up on and hooked up a sheet for me to pull up on to help me push harder.  I said "easier" earlier because while it did make pushing "easier" it also made it harder.  Now I was working out my legs and my arms.  So now they were tired and hurt too!

The doctor kept coming in to check my progress..Kept saying I was getting there.  Just had to get around this one corner and we'd be home free.  I felt like I was a million miles away from the finish line.  I kept pushing and I wasn't feeling any change..I couldn't feel her moving along.  I was getting frustrated.

I was hot.  Tired.  Uncomfortable.  Tired.

At one point my doctor said that the normal pushing time for someone without an epidural is an hour and with an epidural 2 hours.  I was at an hour and a half so he said in half an hour I should have a baby.

That half an hour came and went.  Still no baby.

He asked me if I was really tired or just discouraged.  I think I said I don't know but really I was discouraged.  I wanted to stop pushing but I couldn't.  I could not ignore that incredibly strong feeling to just PUSH.  So I did.  I just kept pushing.  In between contractions I kept saying "I can't."  But as soon as the next contraction hit I pushed. 


I'm not really sure what happened..I was pushing and I guess Zoe got moved further out and so my doctor says "We're going to deliver a baby in the next 10 minutes with or without my help".  So I thought, okay, 10 minutes I can do that.

I continued to push...It was like the longest 10 minutes of my life..Perhaps it wasn't really 10 minutes, I don't know.

I was beginning to feel like I wasn't ever going to push this baby out.  They kept saying I was almost there but I didn't feel like it.

At one point they had me reach down and feel her head...All I can remember thinking was "Just get it out!"  But I didn't say this out loud!

Finally, I pushed, and before I knew it stuff just gushed out of me!  The doctor said that I had done it and that she was out and I said "Seriously?"  I was so surprised...I really had begun to think she was never going to arrive!

I had a 2nd degree tear which the doctor sewed up..(I hate stitches...The idea of stitches really freaks me out).  I apologized to both Judy and my doctor cause I felt like a complete baby looking back on things...Which of course they both said I was crazy for apologizing.  But I mean really, they saw me at my worst and most vulnerable and I at one point just wanted to give up and I think I kind of expressed that!

So, finally she's here.  They get her cleaned up and weighed and measured and it all seems so surreal.

She was born at 6:59 PM, weighed 7 lbs 13 oz, and was 20 1/4 in long.



I spent the next few hours waiting for the epidural to wear off so I could walk again...I ate some food (I had only had fruit that morning so I was STARVING and thirsty).  Talked to some family.  Held my baby.  And when I regained sensation in my legs I was able to take a shower.  One of the best showers EVER!

Around 10 PM I was taken to my room in mother and baby..Zoe roomed with us (she never left my sight) and my overnight nurse was AMAZING.  So sweet.  She helped me get up and pee..She got me ice packs..She was just fabulous.  I had the BEST nurses anyone could have asked for. 

I didn't get much sleep..I had adrenaline pumping and I was so in awe of my daughter...I watched cable (which we don't have at home) and when Zoe woke up I worked on my breastfeeding. 

That morning a couple Pastors from our Church came to visit..I'm sure I looked horrid, I'm kind of embarrassed they saw me like that!

My doctor also came to visit me...He thought I should stay one more day/night but he said if I was really dying to go home I could that afternoon...I decided to go home that afternoon.  Looking back, that was probably not the right choice.  But I survived.

And now, I'm trying to recover.  I'm not a very patient person.  I hate feeling the way I do.  I want to be back to my normal self and from what I've been told that won't happen for a couple months.  UGH.

Week 39 doctor's appointment!

Alright..Another week has passed.  I honestly thought I would have had her by now!  I guess Zoe's in no hurry.

I just got back from yet another doctor's appointment.  Gained another half a pound.  My blood pressure was actually a little lower then it has been, which is obviously good. 

I've had a few contractions over the last 5 days or so..No more then a couple here and there.  NOT strong or long in length.  So nothing to get excited about.

Since I don't have chronic hypertension, to avoid having a C-Section my doctor wants me to wait things out until my due date.  He checked me today and I'm 2 cm dilated (last week I was at 1 cm) and 70% effaced (last week 60%), so he said I'm making progress.  I think he may have even said "good progress" but I was only half listening because I was so uncomfortable.  He said he moved the membranes up a little so if I was anywhere near labor that might start things up in the next couple of days.  I guess we'll see...

If I don't go into labor in the next 5 days, I have another doctor's appointment set for Wednesday, my due date.  He'll check me and then we'll decide what to do. 

Tony and I are going to attempt to have one more date before Zoe comes..I'm somewhat afraid to leave the house..I have a vision of my water breaking in the middle of a restaurant or something equally embarrassing.  So, I'd rather just stay home, lay in bed, and avoid the public!  HA!  But on the other hand, I've been craving Chinese food!

So anyway, I guess that's it for now.  Who knows..Maybe we'll have a baby this weekend!  (SCARY! HAHA!)

Week 39!!

....And still no baby!  I had thought she would be early..I envisioned her arriving this last weekend.  But clearly that did not happen so I was a little off!  More waiting!

Your baby's waiting to greet the world! He continues to build a layer of fat to help control his body temperature after birth, but it's likely he already measures about 20 inches and weighs a bit over 7 pounds, a mini watermelon. (Boys tend to be slightly heavier than girls.) The outer layers of his skin are sloughing off as new skin forms underneath.

Week 38 Doctor's appointment!

So I just got back (after a stop at the thrift store down the street) from the doctor's and all seems to be well...My blood pressure was still a little high...138/94.  I gained a couple of pounds this week which I wasn't surprised because I made cupcakes and also indulged in a little Ben and Jerry's ice cream.  Which really wasn't my fault..I had been craving a Blizzard from Dairy Queen but Tony stopped at WalMart and got me 2 pints of my favorite Ben and Jerry's, so instead of pigging out once, I pigged out for a couple of days!  But it was really YUMMY!  HA!

Anyway, my doctor gave me a copy of my chart so in case I go into labor I'll have it with me.  This might be TMI but for those of you who want to know, I'm 1 cm dilated (his actual wording was "A generous 1 cm"), and 60% effaced.  So, my cervix is starting the process of changing which he said is normal and good.  And her head is still down and pretty low...I haven't had any contractions yet.  (Or if I have, I've mistaken them for indigestion or gas, but I feel if I had, I would have known...)

My bag is all packed...Snacks are packed for Tony...A few outfits, some blankets, etc are packed for Zoe.  I still have many things to wash but for the most part, we're ready to go.  Which probably means she'll be late..If I weren't ready she'd be early!  HA!

Tony and I are enjoying our last few days of alone-ness together...Trying to soak up moments of laziness and sleeping in/sleeping in general.  All in all, things are right on track.  Which kind of has me worried!  :)

Week 38!!

Your baby has really plumped up. She weighs about 6.8 pounds and she's over 19 1/2 inches long (like a leek). She has a firm grasp, which you'll soon be able to test when you hold her hand for the first time! Her organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb. Wondering what color your baby's eyes will be? If she's born with brown eyes, they'll likely stay brown. If she's born with steel gray or dark blue eyes, they may stay gray or blue or turn green, hazel, or brown by the time she's 9 months old.

Zoe's Room: Updated!!

Zoe's room is the ONLY room in our apartment this is furnished and complete.  It's so cute!  And girly!  I love it!  And it's been a collaboration of creative thoughts from Tony and I, which I think makes it more special! 

So here are some pictures..



The letters and how they are painted were my idea..Tony actually did the painting though.  Target wanted $20 A LETTER for a white letter with a pink ribbon.  We picked up our letters at Michael's for $2.99 plus the cost of some acrylic paint and a couple paint brushes.  WAAAAAY cheaper then $60.

 







For being on a tight budget, I think we did pretty well.

Oh and I have to show you her closet...It's pretty full.  After the baby shower I had to fold up her 6+ month sized stuff to make room for the newborn-6 months sizes.  Keep in mind I also have things folded up in her pink baskets. 





She is going to be one well dressed baby! 

Baby Shower!

So I had like the BEST baby shower EVER.  Seriously.  It was great.

First of all it was hosted by some very special people..Kathleen and her daughter Heidi.  The shower was at Kathleen's house.  She MADE (like from scratch..Something I don't do.) the best coffee cake and quiche.  So yummy.  And there was fruit (which was so good) and she even got orange juice for me while most everyone else had coffee!  Tony wasn't there for the shower, but he came to pick me up and got in on all the yummy food too!

It was all ladies from Church..Kathleen told me she thought a dozen women would come.  I thought like 5-10 would come.  Um yeah, like 25 people came.  I couldn't believe it.  And then some people who couldn't come still got us gifts!  We got SPOILED.  I mean SPOILED.  A few of the ladies pitched in and bought us the high-chair that matches the stroller my mom-in-law bought.  And then my father-in-law and step-mom-in-law got us the pack 'n play thing so we now have the complete set.  See, spoiled!

She got lots of adorable clothes...Little dresses she can wear to Church..Oh and lots of blankets!  Zoe is one special girl..She got a couple things that were handmade.  One of the ladies made her a super cute quilt.  I think it may become her comfort blanket.  There's just something about it...Then a gentleman at Church had made a couple of rocking chairs..He gave one away to another couple in the Church who had a baby and he gave the other one to us.  And let me tell you, my jaw dropped when his wife carried it in.  It is gorgeous.  So gorgeous.  Pictures do not do it justice.  It is just amazing.  And he MADE IT!  Such a talent.  We've named her Molly!  She is definitely staying in our family for generations to come.  It's so special.  And we felt so privileged to receive it as a gift.

I didn't take very many pictures like I should have.  I got too carried away with talking to everyone, eating, and opening gifts! 

Here is Molly the AMAZING rocking horse..



See..I told you we got spoiled!



And here is the high-chair..



I haven't yet taken pictures of the pack 'n play...Our camera has been a little stubborn for me.  I will though..I'll need to take pictures of all the things my in-laws sent us as well.  So look for that coming soon..Next I'll post some updated pictures of Zoe's room..It's pretty much complete!  YAY!

I'm Forgetful..

I forget who I've told what..I forget what I've already posted..I'm losing my mind!

So obviously it's getting close..Like 17 days close.  WOW.  I'm getting anxious.  Very anxious.

So I guess I should catch you up!  Here's the latest!

I had a doctor's appointment on Friday and my blood pressure was a little high.  Doctor said I'm prone to hypertension...He said there's a chance my blood pressure will "sky rocket" and get pretty high in which we'll talk about delivering early.  I had an ultrasound last Monday and she's in the 77th percentile for size..Which again means, bigger then average, but not HUGE.  Not like the 17 pound baby that women had a while back...I can't even imagine carrying a 17 pound baby.  That seems unreal.  Okay, focus Courtney. 

Currently Zoe weighs 6 and a half pounds.  I think he said 6 pounds 10 oz but that seemed really specific so I've just been saying 6 and a half!  He said she's still on track to be an 8-8.5 pound baby by my due date.  But if I have to deliver early she probably won't be that much.  More like 7 or 7.5.  I hope.  HA.

I'll be 38 weeks on Wednesday so we assume she could come any day now.  Tony's going to get the car seat installed tomorrow or Tuesday...I'm waiting on a few packages from my in-laws before I get everything washed..My bag is almost completely packed..All in all, we're pretty ready if there was an emergency and had to have her NOW.  Which cross our fingers we hope doesn't happen.  I sort of want nature to take it's course..(Let's not get that confused with having a natural birth because that won't happen.  I'm a whimp.  I need drugs.) 

Here's the latest on how I look..And let me warn you it's not pretty.  My skin is awful, my face is really puffy, like more then ever, and I'm huge.  HUGE!  Tony took this picture this morning before we left for Church..

 

Yeah in retrospect, make-up would have been a good idea.  But I had to work today and make-up at work is not a good idea...I would have just sweated it off and looked even worse!